Public Transportation Etiquette

I have successful managed a first day on the UK public transportation since my last visit a year ago.  However, since I so consistently forget the advice, I am going to note it all now:

Keep Left - I've always felt like I've been a fish swimming up stream but London gives me a clear visual of that every commute.  I've managed to forget to shuffle to the right ga, i mean left. Consistently, I am the proverbial fish swimming against the tide, except with no real purpose or reason other than sheer stupidity.  Without fail walking down the street, into stores, onto the tube, etc etc, i inherently drift right.  Originally, I was just plain annoyed with the people constantly shuffling around me and given my current Eeyore like demeanor, I fought the urge to just drop my shoulder and lean into them.  But after a few failed attempts at waltzing with a stranger I realized my error, keep left child, keep left.

Walk with purpose -  Never yeild, I repeat, never yeild.  Sounds selfish, but it's just the truth. The second you pause you will be swallowed up by sea of James Bond accents.  I see how you maybe confused here.  Incircled by a sea of James Bond accents, that sounds wonderful.  But likely you will miss your train.  And besides once on the train you will be surrounded by James Bond accents.

Wear headphones - This is to avoid conversing with people at all cost.  Wear them even if you lack a device to plug them into.  The wire can be merely stuffed down your coat and no one will no the difference.

Do not make eye contact - Rather maintain a close consistent eye contact with the floor, glance up only to offer a meek sorry for bumping into a stranger.  Unless a liquid is involed, then aologize profusely.  But never pause, only make apologies in passing, do not stop {see observation walk with purpose}. Actually, I digress, you don't only have to look at the floor, another amazing option is to look at the train board above your head.  It's best to express clear concern for missing your train then people have a greater tendency to yield to you.  But don't rely to heavily on this because odds are the person next to you is also concerned for missing their train in which case they won't yield to you thus resulting in a bump or spilled beverage!



Let people off - When you are attempting to board a train, let the people on board off first and then board yourself.  I mean really, you just look like an arrogant snot barging your way on.  Much like a goldfish swimming up a stream of trout.  You have no purpose being there.

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And now just a highlight from my day -

Controller: Briana... Briana Dowling right... that hasn't changed, now has it.

Me: Nope, still a Dowling.  Not married, just another year older.  Thank you for the reminder.

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And my moment of gratitude

I was leaving Waterloo this pm with some takeaway to have for dinner.  I had carefully planned my meal.  Tofu Tanmen (noodle soup) avocado sushi, and and tartlet chocolat.  I started my walk back to the hotel passing this guy who had to be in his 20's wrapped up in a sleeping bag.  He was begging for change. 

I thought to myself, and God, dude, this is so sad, what am i supposed to do with this.  {Give him your dinner}.  What!  are you crazy!! Heck no, I have been craving this soup since my arrival and had already one failed attempt to buy it!  And hello chocolat tartlet.  I mean come on.  This is crazy.  {Give him your dinner}. No

I walked past made it to the crosswalk and got stuck waiting for my signal.  {Are you really going to ignore this}.  yes yes I am.  {Really} Ok, how about i keep the tartlet and just give up the soup and sushi.  deal?  is that reasonable. .............silence..........  Oh come on.  Ok fine, fine, i'll do it.  So i spin on my heal and head straight to the young guy.

Me: Hey, you hungry.
Guy: Huh, oh yeah.
Me: Here
Guy: Whoa, thanks

That was it.  I turned around and headed back up the block.  The light had changed, a breeze tousled the leaves around my feet, my ears and nose stung in the cold, and I chuckled thinking, man I hope he likes tofu.  It was 6:18 in London.